Red Light by T Jefferson Parker

Author:T Jefferson Parker [T Jefferson Parker]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2012-09-04T05:00:00+00:00

It was over fast so they started in again. Merci surrendered to the wrongness of it all, she clutched it like a boozer his bottle, a suicide his gun. Beyond the wrongness she found something that had to be love because nothing else could possibly exist there. Love of what they once had. Love of Mike, the boy and the man. Love of love. Her climaxes were powerful implosions that seemed less of muscle and nerve than of bone. During them she was vertiginous and free and she wished they could on for hours, leaving her exhausted and purged and molecularly rearranged into a completely different person—a good-natured blonde; perhaps, or a fundamentalist, a savant, a pilot. Her jugular throbbed and her ears roared.

When it was over they lay in the darkness breathing hard. She had done what she wanted to do. For just a few minutes she had loved and believed in him. She had given him everything she had, even the benefit of her doubt. She had testified to the innocence she had helped him lose. Offered proof of a trust she wanted so badly to feel.

And now, while Mike dozed beside her, she came back to herself with an awesome regret.

She looked up at the ceiling, knowing that whatever had been between them was over now. She would never look at him the same way, for better or for worse. There was betrayal and maybe murder. There was before Aubrey, and after. One thing had just ended; another was just beginning; and there was a fat black line dividing the two.

She got up, collected the condoms she had brought, went to the bathroom and dosed herself with the aerosol spermicide from her purse. Then she showered and dressed.

"Stay tonight," he whispered in the dark.

"No."

"I love you, Merci Rayborn."

She brushed away his hair and kissed his forehead. "I'll see tomorrow."

Five miles down Modjeska Canyon Merci pulled onto a wide shoulder and parked the Impala. The moon was high and cast a silver light on the hillsides.

She took the .45 from her purse and aimed at the man in that moon, trying to keep him atop the sights. She couldn't hold it still.

Then it jumped in her hands and the noise hit her ears with a sharp crack. She collected the brass with a flashlight and a tissue. Then she emptied the clip and reloaded it. First she put in three shells from the new box she'd bought at the range. The top four cartridges were Mike's. She wiped down the gun with a rag from the trunk.

Five minutes later she let herself back into Mike's house. Nothing looked different. Even with the bloodhounds howling, Mike was a world-class sleeper once he was down.

She walked down the hallway to the bedroom and peeked in. He was over on his side now, facing the wall, curled up like a child, which was how he liked to do those deep first hours. She stepped in and closed the door half way. The room went deeper into shadow.

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